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 Some of you may remember how my friends and I have an ironic Christian Rock Band. If you don't, check out these tastefully understated dramatic photos from our album cover:

Awesome, no?

However, in a horrifyingly incomprehensible move, Our Lord has Smote (Smited?) the Mighty Effigy of Himself.


It's just... I don't even. I feel like I don't even have to make fun of this- the comedy writes itself. XD

EDIT: Also, I love this quote from this article-->

“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.”

Perhaps it is a sign that the Almighty Ruler of the Universe doesn't give a shit about the sex lives of humans. Or perhaps it's a sign that Our Lord and Savior is merely a figment of our overly-childish imaginations. Just sayin'. :D
Disclaimer: I will be venting in this and possibly (probably) coming off as an epic bitch. Do not read if you believe in God and feel you would be offended. Do not comment if you do not expect me to debate the propositions within your comment. After that, it's all good.

Honestly, you were warned...Collapse )

It's over

Annnnnd we lost in Maine. I don't think I really have the words for how devastated I am right now. There's been a lot of crying. There will be more.

I guess I'll just cuddle up within my second-class citizen status and try to get used to the fact that there will always be people who feel that they're justified in telling others how to live and deciding upon the rights their neighbors are allowed to enjoy. I'd like to see what would happen if the homos were suddenly numerous enough to pass a veto outlawing straight marriage. I don't understand people sometimes.

The experience was amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'll just try to nurse the wounds this battle has inflicted and jump back into the fight. I know we're going to win one day, but that doesn't seem good enough. Right now, I'm just really tired and having issues with seeing the silver lining.

I'll make a post about all the amazing and hilarious things that I took away from this whole ordeal later. I'm gonna go shower and nap.

Shame on Maine.


I'm exhausted but jubilant. I love it here. I feel as though I am doing good work. Highlights, because I want to go to bed as I must be at the office at 9 am tomorrow:

- I walk five hours a day, minimum, to go speak with supporters of gay marriage in Maine, urging them to vote early since the polls are 48 to 48% right now. It's a turn out game at this point. All the gays must vote.

- They made me a Field Manager on my second day on the job. This looks infinitely sexier than "Paid Canvasser" on a resume and I get to tell people what to do.

- The women I am staying with are WONDERFUL. My first day on the job, Faith was waiting up for me in the kitchen afterward with hot cocoa, hugs, and chats. Janet showed up in the middle of the chat, had a glass of scotch, and swore like a sailor about all the crazy fuckers who are voting yes on question 1. I wish they were my lesbian moms. They're amazing, and I can already tell that I'm going to cry when I leave them.

- My coworkers are all hilarious and wonderful. I love going in to work in the mornings.

- I got my first paycheck today. Must go get groceries.

I love life. I'm almost sad I'll only be here for a couple weeks. But then California beckons. Fabulous.
So, for the past few months I've been miserable, because I could not find a job in Midland, I had taken the LSAT, and I had NOTHING TO DO. Plus, I was looking for a way to get out to LA in November, which was, as only makes sense because of the job situation, looking less and less likely as the days went by.

Yesterday, all of that changed.

My AWESOME friend Bobby referred me to the No On 1 Campaign, a grassroots campaign to fight for marriage equality in Maine. Some background for those of you who may not be aware: On May 6th, Governor Baldacci signed an act that makes same-sex marriage legal in Maine. However, due to a petition raising signatures against this law, a veto has been placed on the ballot for November 3rd, a veto that would overturn this law and keep it from ever going into effect. More info if you're curious. As of right now, the polls are saying it's about 52% NO (keeping gay marriage legal) 43% YES (outlawing gay marriage) and 5% undecided. It's a pretty close race.

Anyway, No On 1 was looking to hire some full-time paid canvassers. I interviewed over the phone for the job on Wednesday, and I got the job! I'm flying to Maine on Saturday, to get paid to walk around and talk to voters about the issue and urge people to vote for the election. The fact that this is something I would happily volunteer my time for, but I get paid to do it... there are really no words.

As a result of this job, I will suddenly have enough money to go to California. And it just so happens that my friend Christine is heading to San Francisco on November 8th and has invited me to share a hotel room with her while she's there for a big fabulous gay conference. Which allows a whole lot of other dominoes to slot into alignment. It looks like this is what my life is gonna be like now:

October 17th: Three days after landing the job, I fly to Portland to start campaigning.

November 5th: Fly back to Michigan.

November 8th: Fly out to San Francisco and spend several days partying with Christine and one of my old college professors, who I love dearly and who I hope remembers me.

November 11th: Pat Fabulous drives to San Francisco from Santa Cruz on his day off to be gay and amazing with me, specifically having a picturesque movie scene where we drive past the ocean at sunset while blaring Lady Gaga out of the windows of his Ford Explorer. We then drive back to Santa Cruz to Pat's AMAZING CO-OP HOUSE that has a recording studio shaped like a castle in the backyard, an old winibego which someone lives in, Pat's room which is a converted/built into the house old caboose, and a house mother named Bunny. There's also a turtle pond in the backyard with 12 turtles. I'm not kidding. This place is totally real. It's not a fairy tale.

November 13/14th: Pat Fabulous and I drive down to Los Angeles to spend the weekend with Jessica DuVerneay of the Many Corsets. A glittery, drunken weekend ensues.

November 15th: I bid a fond farewell to Pat Fabulous as he drives back to Santa Cruz.

????? I make my triumphant return to Michigan.

The ????? is due to the fact that I MAY get a job in California while I'm there, and I MAY find an apartment, if I am lucky and have enough money left over. All this stuff is ballpark right now. I'm still working out the details. I need to make a budget. But that's what I know so far!


My Grandparents Are Insane.

This past weekend was my niece's first birthday. My brother, sister in law, niece and older sister all came up from Chicago and Milwaukee (respectively) and we had a shindig. With lots of babies. Now, you all know how I feel about babies. Luckily, Madeleine (my niece) is exempt from the utter terror and disgust that overtakes me when dealing with children under the age of four. Unluckily, as if the other babies who I AM terrified of weren't enough, my grandparents on my mothers side were drawn, as they necessarily are, to the gathering of babies like hysterical teenage girls are drawn to a Jonas Brothers concert. For people as crazily conservative and Catholic as my grandparents, babies are what it's all about- innocence, the miracle of life, the embodiment of God's plan for all of us, the beauty that survives in spite of the terrible fact that abortion is legal, fresh little minds to brainwash through Catechism classes and mass every Sunday. Ah, the fresh smell of babies in the morning...

Additionally, I was on Grandma-distracting duty, as Jenny was at the party, and I had to keep the crazy away from her or she may have had an episode, albeit with good reason. This is because Grandma and Grandpa stole Jenny's Obama signs out of the front yard, treating her as if she was a two year old playing with an inappropriate and dangerous toy (think a bottle of drain-cleaner) instead of the 25 year old woman that she is, then wrote letters to her comparing her to Hitler when she requested that they give her signs back or reimburse her for them... needless to say, Jenny and the grandparents haven't spoken since then. So it was up to me to waylay the grandparents before they had a chance to speak with Jenny, or something bad was gonna happen.

I really can"t believe I"m related to these people...Collapse )

So about internet trolls...

Two posts in one day! This is unprecedented.

So I made a post on craigslist, because I am lonely and I want friends in Midland and I haven't been laid in 8 months (Not complaining, per se. Just sayin'. DON'T JUDGE ME!!! XD). In my post I made ONE passing mention of how "gun-toting republicans need not apply." Because I hate them. *shrugs* As do a lot of people.

I started clapping and giggling when I got THIS response to my ad in my inbox:

Cut for gratuitously long battle of the interwebz.Collapse )