Annnnnd we lost in Maine. I don't think I really have the words for how devastated I am right now. There's been a lot of crying. There will be more.

I guess I'll just cuddle up within my second-class citizen status and try to get used to the fact that there will always be people who feel that they're justified in telling others how to live and deciding upon the rights their neighbors are allowed to enjoy. I'd like to see what would happen if the homos were suddenly numerous enough to pass a veto outlawing straight marriage. I don't understand people sometimes.

The experience was amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'll just try to nurse the wounds this battle has inflicted and jump back into the fight. I know we're going to win one day, but that doesn't seem good enough. Right now, I'm just really tired and having issues with seeing the silver lining.

I'll make a post about all the amazing and hilarious things that I took away from this whole ordeal later. I'm gonna go shower and nap.

Shame on Maine.

I'm exhausted but jubilant. I love it here. I feel as though I am doing good work. Highlights, because I want to go to bed as I must be at the office at 9 am tomorrow:

- I walk five hours a day, minimum, to go speak with supporters of gay marriage in Maine, urging them to vote early since the polls are 48 to 48% right now. It's a turn out game at this point. All the gays must vote.

- They made me a Field Manager on my second day on the job. This looks infinitely sexier than "Paid Canvasser" on a resume and I get to tell people what to do.

- The women I am staying with are WONDERFUL. My first day on the job, Faith was waiting up for me in the kitchen afterward with hot cocoa, hugs, and chats. Janet showed up in the middle of the chat, had a glass of scotch, and swore like a sailor about all the crazy fuckers who are voting yes on question 1. I wish they were my lesbian moms. They're amazing, and I can already tell that I'm going to cry when I leave them.

- My coworkers are all hilarious and wonderful. I love going in to work in the mornings.

- I got my first paycheck today. Must go get groceries.

I love life. I'm almost sad I'll only be here for a couple weeks. But then California beckons. Fabulous.

So, for the past few months I've been miserable, because I could not find a job in Midland, I had taken the LSAT, and I had NOTHING TO DO. Plus, I was looking for a way to get out to LA in November, which was, as only makes sense because of the job situation, looking less and less likely as the days went by.

Yesterday, all of that changed.

My AWESOME friend Bobby referred me to the No On 1 Campaign, a grassroots campaign to fight for marriage equality in Maine. Some background for those of you who may not be aware: On May 6th, Governor Baldacci signed an act that makes same-sex marriage legal in Maine. However, due to a petition raising signatures against this law, a veto has been placed on the ballot for November 3rd, a veto that would overturn this law and keep it from ever going into effect. More info if you're curious. As of right now, the polls are saying it's about 52% NO (keeping gay marriage legal) 43% YES (outlawing gay marriage) and 5% undecided. It's a pretty close race.

Anyway, No On 1 was looking to hire some full-time paid canvassers. I interviewed over the phone for the job on Wednesday, and I got the job! I'm flying to Maine on Saturday, to get paid to walk around and talk to voters about the issue and urge people to vote for the election. The fact that this is something I would happily volunteer my time for, but I get paid to do it... there are really no words.

As a result of this job, I will suddenly have enough money to go to California. And it just so happens that my friend Christine is heading to San Francisco on November 8th and has invited me to share a hotel room with her while she's there for a big fabulous gay conference. Which allows a whole lot of other dominoes to slot into alignment. It looks like this is what my life is gonna be like now:

October 17th: Three days after landing the job, I fly to Portland to start campaigning.

November 5th: Fly back to Michigan.

November 8th: Fly out to San Francisco and spend several days partying with Christine and one of my old college professors, who I love dearly and who I hope remembers me.

November 11th: Pat Fabulous drives to San Francisco from Santa Cruz on his day off to be gay and amazing with me, specifically having a picturesque movie scene where we drive past the ocean at sunset while blaring Lady Gaga out of the windows of his Ford Explorer. We then drive back to Santa Cruz to Pat's AMAZING CO-OP HOUSE that has a recording studio shaped like a castle in the backyard, an old winibego which someone lives in, Pat's room which is a converted/built into the house old caboose, and a house mother named Bunny. There's also a turtle pond in the backyard with 12 turtles. I'm not kidding. This place is totally real. It's not a fairy tale.

November 13/14th: Pat Fabulous and I drive down to Los Angeles to spend the weekend with Jessica DuVerneay of the Many Corsets. A glittery, drunken weekend ensues.

November 15th: I bid a fond farewell to Pat Fabulous as he drives back to Santa Cruz.

????? I make my triumphant return to Michigan.

The ????? is due to the fact that I MAY get a job in California while I'm there, and I MAY find an apartment, if I am lucky and have enough money left over. All this stuff is ballpark right now. I'm still working out the details. I need to make a budget. But that's what I know so far!

I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT WITH GLEE! XDDDDDDDDDD

This past weekend was my niece's first birthday. My brother, sister in law, niece and older sister all came up from Chicago and Milwaukee (respectively) and we had a shindig. With lots of babies. Now, you all know how I feel about babies. Luckily, Madeleine (my niece) is exempt from the utter terror and disgust that overtakes me when dealing with children under the age of four. Unluckily, as if the other babies who I AM terrified of weren't enough, my grandparents on my mothers side were drawn, as they necessarily are, to the gathering of babies like hysterical teenage girls are drawn to a Jonas Brothers concert. For people as crazily conservative and Catholic as my grandparents, babies are what it's all about- innocence, the miracle of life, the embodiment of God's plan for all of us, the beauty that survives in spite of the terrible fact that abortion is legal, fresh little minds to brainwash through Catechism classes and mass every Sunday. Ah, the fresh smell of babies in the morning...

Additionally, I was on Grandma-distracting duty, as Jenny was at the party, and I had to keep the crazy away from her or she may have had an episode, albeit with good reason. This is because Grandma and Grandpa stole Jenny's Obama signs out of the front yard, treating her as if she was a two year old playing with an inappropriate and dangerous toy (think a bottle of drain-cleaner) instead of the 25 year old woman that she is, then wrote letters to her comparing her to Hitler when she requested that they give her signs back or reimburse her for them... needless to say, Jenny and the grandparents haven't spoken since then. So it was up to me to waylay the grandparents before they had a chance to speak with Jenny, or something bad was gonna happen.

( I really can't believe I'm related to these people... )

Two posts in one day! This is unprecedented.

So I made a post on craigslist, because I am lonely and I want friends in Midland and I haven't been laid in 8 months (Not complaining, per se. Just sayin'. DON'T JUDGE ME!!! XD). In my post I made ONE passing mention of how "gun-toting republicans need not apply." Because I hate them. *shrugs* As do a lot of people.

I started clapping and giggling when I got THIS response to my ad in my inbox:

( Cut for gratuitously long battle of the interwebz. )

I know this is way overdue, but I'm finally getting around to it.

Gather around children, and I will tell you the tale of a song that was sung, a quest that was undertaken, and an evil that was defeated.

I am speaking, of course, about the Spring Break of the past year as experienced by Patrick, Bobby, Charlie, Kolby, and Maria, a group of explorers known by many names, but for the sake of this narrative, a group of explorers known (at least to themselves) as the Spice Force Five. These heroes have been ordained as keepers and maintainers of the Fabulous, the Factual, the Jocular, the Callypigian, and the Rational (respectively).

You see, children, while many college students spend their Spring Break basking in the sun, drinking heavily, and making mistakes of the Joe Francis variety, the Spice Force Five tend to seek more... creative... forms of entertainment.

It all began when Kolby hatched a plan.

"So, I looked up where that Creationism Museum is from that Bill Maher movie," he said to us, head jauntily cocked to the side. "It's in Kentucky. It looks hilarious. We should road trip it down. It would be a four state tour."

Patrick gasped.

"It'll be my last fabulous trip before I go away to help the destitute children of our Fair Nation!" he said in a rather dramatic tone.

Bobby looked determined.

"Let's figure out logistics. We'll make it happen."

Charlie nodded solemnly.

As for me, I promptly forgot about the entire conversation until Patrick brought it up in a Serious Tone a couple weeks later. By then, all I had to do was provide a couple hundred dollars to pay for gas, food, and my share of a hotel room.

The days went by quickly, and almost before I had had the time to fully begin to appreciate the epic-ness of the journey that we were about to embark upon, Patrick was reclining regally on my futon. We were both trying to sleep (and failing, much as toddlers on the night before Christmas) as we were slotted to wake up at five a.m. the next day, to be on the road by six.

We were gonna go show that Jesus guy what's what.


( Cut for pic-spam and gratuitously long narrative )

LSAT is today. Which is probably the second most important/life-defining exam I will ever take. In about an hour and a half.

I have:
1. Woken up at 6:30 am after getting three hours of sleep full of wacked-out, obviously terrified dreams
2. Taken a shower
3. Dressed in my Dunder Mifflin hoodie, Patrick's old polo shirt, my dad's wristwatch, and my little brother's sandals, in addition to re-reading Julia's heartening e-mail at least three times in a row, all to get myself into the CORRECT MINDSET, not for luck, because I'm SO not relying on luck for this one.
4. Talked briefly to Matt and Liz on the AIM, as the former is in France and up, and the latter is INSANE and getting ready to go tailgating to "get even drunker than I already am from last night." 

It's at times like this that I almost wish I wasn't an atheist because then, even if I fail horribly today, I would still at least feel like Jesus has got my back.

Ugh. Commence freak-out. Activated.

....But I've watched this thing in excess of 25 times in a row. It. Is. AWESOME. :D

So, it was my 23rd birthday today.

Summary:

1. Fanfiction
2. Chats with Julia
3. Job hunting
4. More chats with Julia
5. Livejournaling
6. LSAT studying
7. Mussels in white wine and garlic
8. Two lobsters
9. Potato salad
10. Angela
11. Three bottles of wine
12. Double fudge chocolate cake that mom bought "for my birthday" when she's just looking for an excuse to buy chocolate cake. Still delicious.
13. Baggy the cat scratches my back off trying to reach the back of the chair
14. Drunk
15. Little sister dresses wounds
16. More wine
17. More cake
18. Success.

So, I was surfing on OKCupid (a free online networking and dating site), because I have very few friends in Midland and was hoping to maybe meet some people without resorting to going out to the bars or coffee shop or mall or any of the other "hip cool hang outs" that Midland obviously sports by the dozen.

One thing that AMAZES me about free online dating sites (or just internet sites in general) is the amount of times someone shoots out a lame pick-up line. Usually something along the lines of, "R U HORNY?" to which I normally respond, "No, I'm actually not any sort of ungulate at all." Sometimes you get a, "ur pic is so hott," which I normally don't dignify with a response. Nine times out of ten the guy messaging either doesn't HAVE a photo available at his profile or has a photo that is so friggen UGLY you don't know why he'd be trying to pick up people just for sex in the first place, since the only thing he could possibly have going for him is a winning personality. But I guess he doesn't have THAT if he's trying to instantly pick-up women on a website. But I digress.

I got a pick-up line shot at me tonight, and since I HAD been talking to somebody earlier about how futile the pick-up lines on OKCupid are, I decided to try and figure this shit out.

( The illuminating and stimulating conversation that resulted )

Is basically the coolest thing ever. I SWEAR, THERE IS NOTHING MORE AWESOME THAN A 15 FOOT GREAT WHITE FUCKING JETTISONING INTO THE AIR 12 FEET WHILE TRYING TO CATCH A SEAL AT 20 MPH. I mean, I would never get tired of seeing that. You could show me the clips 100 times, and every time I'd be like, "WHOOOOOA! FUCK! HAHAHAHAHA!"

I also think I'm evil. My one friend was like, "I was scared and horrified because I saw this special on shark attacks and these kids got eaten." And then she glared at me, because my reaction to her saying that was to get this HUGE GRIN on my face, and to bounce in my seat and say, "That is the most awesome thing I've heard all day."

Seriously, what is it about Shark Week? I submit that it is an absolute good. For whatever reason you watch, you still WANT to watch, because it is FUCKING AWESOME.

My new writing journal is up and running.

baka_writes 

Creative title, I know.

If anyone's interested, go take a gander and tell me if it's user-friendly and all that. Let me know if there's anything I need to improve!

I need to start writing more fanfic. CUZ NOW I HAVE A PRETTY WRITING JOURNAL TO POST AT! *glee* And it only took me six hours or so to do it.

wheeee.

Additionally, to any of my lovely relatives who read this journal (Hi GRANDMA AND UNCLE ICK!) you are welcome to peruse my fanficition, though I have no idea why you would be interested. But the fanfiction is often off-color, sweary, and full of sexual themes (*GASP*explicit*COUGH*).

You have been warned. :D

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXCRUCIATING AND TIME-CONSUMING IT IS TO ARCHIVE ALL YOUR OLD FICTION INTO A WRITING JOURNAL?!?!

I'm only halfway done. Not even. And I've been working on it for a couple hours.

I'll finish it tomorrow.

I NEED TO MAKE A POST ON STRATFORD AND A POST ON THE CREATIONISM MUSEUM.

Maybe I should worry more about finding a part time job and studying for the LSAT. My parents are gonna kill me.

....and now it's time for bed.

In the run up to series 3, the BBC is releasing 3 Torchwood radio plays. The first one which became available yesterday, Asylum, was.... underwhelming. However, I had great hope for the one released today, as it was written by James Goss, the man who wrote the tie-in novel Almost Perfect. For those of you who haven't read Almost Perfect, just trust me when I say it was full of so much fabulous that when you're done reading the book, you find you've somehow become covered in glitter. So, naturally, your expectations of fabulous for anything that he writes should be high.

James Goss, I would like to take this moment to formally let you know that following my listening to Golden Age, I have decided that you are one of the most fierce people who ever lived, and that you and I should go dancing at the gay clubs together, possibly shoe shopping on the weekends. In short, sir, I am in big gay love with you. 

Here's the synopsis of Golden Age as given by the BBC website where you can download it:

The Torchwood team are led to Delhi on the trail of a dangerous energy field. As the field grows, they witness the simultaneous disappearance of hundreds of people. Jack discovers that the field centres on an old colonial mansion, Torchwood India.

Shocked to find that Torchwood India is still going strong after he shut it down himself over 80 years ago, he is even more surprised to find that its members, including his old flame the Duchess, haven't aged a day.

Needless to say, with THAT summary, I had pretty high expectations. And the actual radio play met and exceeded almost every expectation of fabulous that I had.

Go listen to it. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lg4nq
 

( Spoilery stuff under cut )

Now I will go back to being a slightly less pathetic person and doing something productive with my day.

Which really means I'm going to go back to waiting helplessly for series 3. *sigh*

 

Some of you may remember my Genocide List. I've got another group of people to add: People who are consistently or to a great magnitude inconsiderate to service industry workers. 

Tonight at work it was friggen busy. It was bad enough that all of the effing little high school-ers are done for the summer as of today and have taken over downtown, (that's another rant altogether) but I was AMAZED at the amount of absolute douche-baggery floating around. It's honestly as if people suddenly lose all decency and common sense when they're talking to anyone who works in the service industry.

I feel it should be a requirement of living in this country that you work a service job for at least two years, like conscription into the army. I'm pretty sure that would solve a lot of the rudeness that people treat their sandwich-makers, retail salesmen, and bank tellers with. For those of you who have never worked a service job, here's a few rules to follow in your interactions with anyone working at a place from which you are buying things:

( THE RULES )

All of my posts have been fairly whiny lately. Oh, well. Here's another one to add to the pile.

I hate this day. It is humid and raining and RIDICULOUS, and no matter what I do my hair ends up looking like THIS: 



Additionally, today I fell asleep in stats class (though on the upside, I will be completely effing done with stats after next Wednesday).

I literally have 3 dollars to last me until my next paycheck, so I decided to go sell all of my philosophy books from last semester, because I can always check them out at the library, and I don't REALLY need them, right? And besides, philosophy may feed my mind, but I need to feed my stomach... and pay for parking. 

So I spent half an hour running from class to my car to get my books, to the store where they told me I needed my UM ID only for me to find out I left my ID at my apartment, and I've parked in a parking garage with no money to pay for parking on the contingency that I would be able to sell my books before I left. I had to run to the advising center to ask what my ID number is only to run BACK to the store to find out that 8 philosophy books that I paid over a 150 dollars for get me a total of 19 fucking dollars to last me until next Friday. I take the receipt upstairs to the register, to find that for some reason, two jack-off nerdy looking guys have decided they need to buy 30 dollars worth of UM logo-stamped pencils (honestly, wtf.) which is as aggravating as the classic old lady counting pennies at the bank teller, except twice as ridiculous because who the hell needs that many friggen pencils? And the cashier counted them all at least 8 times to make sure they were all there, and I wanted to scream because all I wanted was my 19 measley dollars so that I can get the hell out of downtown thank-you-very-much. 

And then after I got my 19 dollars (finally) I almost turned around and punched the two pencil-buyers in the FACE because as I went to leave they came up to the register with a couple more pencils to buy. 

WHO THE HELL NEEDS THAT MANY PENCILS!?!? Theories? I'm personally thinking they're making a giant effigy to the UM pencil gods to burn upon graduation. That's the only way I won't feel like they wasted my time. Honestly.

I'm absolutely terrible. I haven't updated in FOREVER... again. I THOUGHT I would get a break between winter semester and spring semester, because, you know, I only have 2 more friggen classes to take until I am officially DONE with my philosophy degree and applying for law schools, but apparently that's not how the University of Michigan works. And apparently it turns out I need STATS 350 to graduate.

Which is fine, right, because, "Maria, but, but Ugg-wearing sorostitutes take STATS 350 for their math credit, and they usually fail ENG 101!" However, you must be aware of the fact that because of her philosophy degree, Maria has not been required to take a math class of ANY sort since junior year of high school, and 5 years spent only doing enough math to make change for customers at Potbelly when the registers are broken is not nearly enough to count as any sort of real math... ever. Plus I need to get at least an A- in this course to bring my GPA up from a 3.4 to a 3.5. Thankfully, I've been kicking my own butt and have gotten an A- on the first exam, which, with the first quiz score thrown in, means that so far, I have an A- in the course overall.

But I'm scared I won't do well because it's only getting harder. That's what she said.

However, I HAVE found some time to write my Janto fic (after not posting a chapter for 4 months) and did go to Stratford with Mom, Cappie, Liz, and Jade without exploding from stress about my courses, which was a near thing.

THINGS TO DO:

1. Get an A- in STATS 350, because I've totally got COMPLIT 122 in the bag.

2. FINALLY make a post about the trip to the Creation Museum.

3. Make a post about the trip to Stratford and how fabulous the Importance of Being Ernest was. (Lady Bracknell played by Brian Bedford, FTW)

4. I've been debating whether I should do this for a while, and it seems I should Get With The Times and finally create a writing journal, because I never post my fic to my personal journal (that's here), fanfic.net is woefully inadequate at being awesome, and much of my fic is scattered through the comms like so many leaves in the wind.

So within the next couple of months, I shall compile all my many fandoms and writings onto one livejournal after editing them. Though the older fic, I think I'll post but not bother with the editing. Especially my RENT fic. God, it makes me depressed to read Dying By Surviving. But I'm sure I'll go back and read Revelations in a couple years and feel the same way. There's a time-stamp on how good I feel about my writing, it seems, because I'm not really sure if I'm getting any better. *sigh* Though why I take FANFICTION so seriously, of all things, I'll never know. 

5. Clean my apartment. Buy groceries. Do laundry. This really shouldn't be at the bottom of the list.

Additionally, Jenny is the best older sister ever, because for my graduation present, she CROCHETED ME A IANTO. zomg.


It's a perfect likeness!

( Photo Dump of Ianto!Doll... if anyone's interested. :D )

Graah! Just. One. More. Final. I keep telling myself it'll be over soon, even though it feels like it won't, even though my last final is on Wednesday. I can't handle this. The stress is killing me.

Last Thursday's final was by far the worst. I didn't REALLY buckle down and start studying until far too late on Wednesday night, so I pulled an all nighter.

Of course, at 6:00 am when I decided to move from an abandoned classroom to the computer lab, everything went to hell.

If you've been hanging around me lately, you'll know that I have a piece of crap laptop (a craptop, if you will). Bobby laughs at me constantly because the power chord is janky, and I have to wiggle it, tie it in knots, or drape it around my computer JUST SO in order for the battery to begin charging. When I plugged in my laptop at the computer lab, it was having issues, no matter how I wiggled the chord or draped it, and I was getting frustrated at the lack of charging.

And obviously, when I saw the smoke out of my peripheral vision, I had been up for 30 hours so I figured I was just hallucinating. At least until my friend Taylor looks over and goes, "HOLY SHIT, Maria! Your computer is smoking!"

I'm a little slow on the uptake still so instead of unplugging my computer and backing the fuck up, I sniff at the smoke (it smelt rubber-y) before turning my computer around to see where it was coming from. That's when I notice that the power port has become some sort of rocket jet-pack because flames are shooting out of it, and a good length of the power chord is engulfed in flames and sparking.

My mind finally caught up so I screamed, "JESUS!" and flung my rolly chair backwards. Taylor, like an action hero movie star, lunges for the chord and rips it out of the wall. I'm left to explain in halting language why there was screaming to the techies in the computer lab. They weren't amused, but told me bluntly, "Oh. That happens a lot." 

Did I miss the memo titled, "Oh, and besides sex causing babies, your laptop will probably explode at one point in your life." ? Because I'm pretty sure that shit should NEVER happen. Especially during finals.

So I was left with only enough power in my battery to last me an hour since my power chord was shot. I spent the rest of the day ninja-studying... I'd do as much work as I could not using the notes on my computer, then flip it open, frantically scribble down as much as I could, and slam it closed again to conserve energy. It sucked.

When I called dad to tell him about it, he cracked up for a minute and then said, "Out of all my kids, I'd want to be you the least," and "I'd rather be me than you, and I had a heart attack last year."

Thanks, Dad. 

The day got worse, because as I was up all night, I contracted a fairly nasty sore throat. After taking my final (and kicking it's ass six ways to Wednesday) I decided to go get some tea at the Espresso Royale. I downed it fairly quickly because my throat was KILLING me, and then left to go to my car, go home, and get some sleep.

Of course, in my sleep deprived state, I hadn't factored in that it was 80 degrees outside, I hadn't eaten in 12 hours or slept in 36, and I had just downed a cup of scalding hot tea in 10 minutes. My stomache began to rebel immediately.

I did that thing you do when you think you're going to throw up but you REALLY don't want to and try to talk yourself out of it. Like that ever works. "No, come on, you're fine. You don't feel sick. It's a beautiful day out! Distract yourself by looking at the birds! Aren't they pretty? Just two more blocks to your car. You'll make it. You feel great!" My stomache cannot be reasoned with.

And it decides to finally lose it right in the middle of the diag, which is one of the highest-traffic areas on campus. Especially during exams. I made it to a trash can that was off to the side before hurling, but I still caused a mortifying commotion. This girl even came up and was like, "OMGZ, R u, liek, okay? Do you want me to call 911??!" And I'm like, "NO! Do NOT call 911. Please. I'm fine. Just... *tear* don't look at me, okay?" 

I hate finals. Even though it's really my own fault and not theirs.


 

 So Kolby was doing this personality profile thing. You had to go through a bunch of lists of words and say which one described you most, which least, an then score all the groups of words to determine your personality type. This is what I got: 

INSPIRATIONAL PATTERN

Emotions: accepts aggression; downplays need for affection
Goal: control of their environment or audience
Judges others by: projection of personal strength, character, and social power
Influences others by: charm, direction, intimidation; use of rewards
Value to the organization: acts as a "people mover"; initiates, demands, compliments, disciplines
Overuses: attitude that "the ends justify the means"
Under pressure: becomes manipulative, quarrelsome or beligerent
Fears: weak behavior; loss of social status
Would increase effectiveness through: genuine sensitivity; willingness to help others to succeed in their own personal development

Persons with the Inspirational Pattern consciously attempt to modify the thoughts and actions of others. They want to control their environment. They are astute at identifying and manipulating an individual's existing motives in order to direct that person's behavior toward a predetermined end. 

Inspirational persons are clear about the results they want, but they do not always immediately verbalize them. they state the results they want only after they have primed the other person, offering friendship to those who desire acceptance, authority to those who seek power, and security to those who want a predictable environment.

Inspirational persons can be charming in their interactions. They are persuasive when they want help in repetitive and time-consuming details. People often experience a conflicting sensation by feeling drawn to Inspirational people and yet being curiously distanced. Others may feel "used" by Inspirational persons' powers of manipulation. Although they sometimes inspire fear in others and override their decisions, Inspirational persons are generally well liked by co-workers because they use their considerable verbal skills to persuade others whenever possible. Inspirational persons clearly prefer to accomplish goals through cooperation and persuasion instead of dominance. 

This doesn't really fit me PERFECTLY, but I feel like it's prooty close. And of course, because I am a lame ass, and have to connect everything back to Torchwood, I started thinking about how in my friendship group I have been designated as the "Jack Harkness" (we have this tendency to assign roles to ourselves when watching television and movies). And as I read this profile again it sounded a lot like Jack. 

So I went through and found some of the other personality profiles that TOTZ fit the other four Torchwood guys... because it is late and I have nothing better to do. SO I will post under the cut the abbreviated profiles of Tosh, Ianto, Owen, and Gwen. Obviously, the Inspirational Pattern is given to Jack. Wha. 

No one cares, I know this. I'm okay with it. :D 

( TORCHWOOD PERSONALITY PROFILES FTW )I win the lame card. Forever. What you think?