I haven't updated in forever. 

I haven't done a LOT of things I said I was gonna do. This was my Spring Break week. I was supposed to catch up.



Things I Haven't Done

1. I went to the Creation Museum and a bunch of tourist traps last weekend with the gays. For the rest of the week of Spring Break, I said I was gonna write the account of the Creation Museum complete with PHOTOS and MOVING PICTURE BOXES on my livejournal. But then I couldn't figure out how to upload videos to YouTube, and I got lazy and I haven't done it. But I will. I swear. It is a Story That Must Be Told.

2. I said I would write the next chapter of my pathetic Jack/Ianto-fanfic-what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-life story. That'll get done eventually too.

3. I said I would get a jump start on the reading for my classes for next week. What a surprise that I didn't, eh?

4. I said I would stop spending money, clean my apartment, buy real groceries, and STOP FAILING SO HARD. Zip. Zilch. Nada.



Things I Have "Accomplished"

1. Go to Midland to my parents' house. Which sucks my soul. Stayed there for five days when I said I would stay for two.

2. Sleep.

3. Eat all the food in my family's house.

4. AND, on ONE memorable occasion- eat 5 pieces of fried chicken, two double cheeseburgers, 6 beers, 4 gin and tonics, and watch a horror movie called Grizzly Peak with Kent for the sole fact that it had the tag line: "It's gonna be a bear." I threw up at five in the morning into a trash can. My father was very proud.



Grizzly Peak

It was a good movie because I was drunk. Veh-he-heeerrry drunk. I watched it for the romance between Ranger Bob and Beebee. It was the love story of our time.

Until the bear mauled her at the end and ripped her tit off. Her breast implant was knocked into a tree and fell with a squelch of blood and silicon.

Then the credits rolled.

I feel like the whole movie was built around that moment. Like that was the punchline. Like some guys were sitting around and one of them said, "Hey, wouldn't it be awesome if there was some girl you weren't sure had breast implants or not, and the way you found out that she DID have breast implants was if a bear came up and clawed her tit off so the breast implant flew out?!? Wouldn't that be fucking awesome?" Then they made a movie out of it where the Asian and the Black kid get killed first. Of course.

Thanks, guys. Surprisingly, it WAS pretty fucking awesome.

I think I need to lie down. 

I promise a more meaningful post will come soon.