Dear Michigan,

I was working a closing shift at Potbelly tonight. You know how much I hate those. We've had long conversations about it when I walk home at midnight. So, Michigan, you can imagine my surprise and horror when I finished mopping the floors to find that you'd decided it was a good opportunity for you to precipitate all over the fucking place. In blizzard form. 

What the hell, Michigan? I thought we were all done with that the last three times it got warm for a week and then fucking cold again. Why do you have to get my hopes up this way only to dash them with 30 mph winds and below freezing temperatures? I'm getting sick and fucking tired of digging my car out from under 10 feet of snow only to skid on the ice and crash into a tree when I finally get the engine to start. I black out as a result of the crash for three hours, and when I wake up, I'm sitting in a wrecked car with the sun beating down on it. Not acceptable, Michigan. It's just a cruel joke.

I thought we were friends, Michigan. We've known each other for 22 years. If you're mad I went to see Florida around Christmas, you only have to tell me so. Remember, I ended up spending New Year's with you. I thought it was fair. Punishing me this way is childish and will only serve to make me want to be around you less. I've already thought about how it would be nice to go visit Florida again soon. You catch more flies with honey, Michigan. I thought you understood that.

Is there something you want to talk about, Michigan? You must be upset. Being passive aggressive is not the best way to get what you want. We're not dating, Michigan. You don't get to act like you're fine for a week only to freak out for three days, then be fine for a week and freak out for another two. You're warm and welcoming and SNAP, suddenly you're cold and bitter. You have to express to me when you're angry instead of snubbing me to hang out with your old pal, Condensation. I thought we were past this, Michigan.

Michigan, you have to know I'm willing to work this out. I don't want us to be at odds with each other. It makes it awkward not only for me, but for everyone else around you. It's not fair to take it out on entire cities when you have a problem with me, Michigan. You'll only create more enemies.

Please call me, Michigan. We need to have a serious conversation. 

Love,
Maria