Tonight at work it was friggen busy. It was bad enough that all of the effing little high school-ers are done for the summer as of today and have taken over downtown, (that's another rant altogether) but I was AMAZED at the amount of absolute douche-baggery floating around. It's honestly as if people suddenly lose all decency and common sense when they're talking to anyone who works in the service industry.
I feel it should be a requirement of living in this country that you work a service job for at least two years, like conscription into the army. I'm pretty sure that would solve a lot of the rudeness that people treat their sandwich-makers, retail salesmen, and bank tellers with. For those of you who have never worked a service job, here's a few rules to follow in your interactions with anyone working at a place from which you are buying things:
HOW TO NOT BE A COMPLETE JERKFACE:
1. Unless it is an absolute emergency of some sort, you never, ever, ever go into a place of business unless it is at least half an hour before close. For example, if the place closes at 11 pm, it's okay to go in if it's 10:30 pm or earlier. If you DO feel the need to go in less than half an hour before close, you must acknowledge the fact that you are a jerk, apologize profusely, be friendly, and get your stuff and get out in no longer than ten minutes.
Bonus Piece of Information: if the thing you feel the need for is somehow food related or not completely necessary to your continued existence, there is really no excuse to go in when it's less than half an hour to close. Honestly, you don't need that sandwich at 10:45 pm if the sandwich place closes at 11 pm. If you're really that hungry, go somewhere that's open later, or face the wrath of someone who gets to put their gloved hands all over your food.
Related Story: A girl and her boyfriend came in 10 minutes after close. Company policy states that we have to serve people until 15 minutes after close. The girl made the mistake of acknowledging the fact that she knew she was in the store late and didn't care - "You close at 11? Oh, it's only 11:10, we still have time then." - and then compounded the mistake by deciding to STAY to eat her sandwich, giving the excuse: "We only have 20 minutes in the meter so we'll be out of your hair." - and then stayed for 45 effing minutes. Because, guess what, asshole? You don't need to put money into street meters after 6 pm, since parking becomes free then.
2. Get off your flipping cell phone. No, really. I don't care if you're talking to your mom, your friend, or your dying grandmother. If you're in line to order food, then fucking order your food, sit down, and THEN make your phone call. There is absolutely no conversation important enough that it can't be put on hold for the two measly minutes it takes to order, and if someone calls you in the middle of your order, the only reason you should pick it up is to say, "I'm ordering food, I'll call your right back," and then hang up. If you're waiting for some sort of intensely important phone call, wait for the call at home and make food there. Honestly.
Bonus Piece of Information: Even if you say "One second," and hold your phone against your shoulder to order, I still think you're a dick. It also makes me want to scream obsenities and moan at the top of my lungs so whoever you're on the phone with thinks you're watching porn.
Related Story: This one time, a woman literally held up her finger and told ME to hold on a second so she could answer her phone. I had to wait a full minute so I could find out what toppings she wanted on her sandwich, and then she later came up and complained her sandwich was cold. Of course it was cold, it sat on the cutting board for a minute getting cool because she had to talk to "Kim" about "getting the boys together on Tuesday."
3. Do not take advantage of any past generosity of the staff, or try to scam them into giving you something because you understand how some of the company policies work. Any free shit you could get is definitely not worth the karma you're building up, and if you're so hungry you need free food, go to a soup kitchen or somewhere that it's their job to do that. You have to understand, I honestly don't give a crap if you take 20 sandwiches, but my BOSS certainly would, and I don't want to get fired because you're a jerk.
Bonus Piece of Information: Never ask for something directly, or complain just because you want a comped meal when there's no actual fault in the product. If you ask directly for a free cookie, it makes me ten times less likely to give it to you. If you complain about there being a hair in the food but can't show me the actual piece of hair on the sandwich, I'll be forced to comp you a new one, but you can bet everyone in the kitchen will be glaring at you for the rest of your stay.
Related Story: There's this one guy who always comes in ten minutes to close (see number 1) and orders two turkey sandwiches without cheese. I ask to ring him up at the register and he says that earlier, they made him two sandwiches with cheese, but "the lady" said if he came back they'd make him replacement sandwiches. I have a few problems with this BS story. Number one, it's completely unrealistic that we wouldn't make him new sandwiches right away, so he's got his information about company policy wrong. Number two, he's obviously come in enough that I recognize him, as do other members of the staff who have turned him away, but he apparently doesn't recognize us because he still tries it again and again. If you came into a store to try to scam someone, you should scam someone you haven't tried to scam before. It just shows a bad scammer when they can't even be bothered to remember the faces of the people who have thwarted past attempts. Number three, he uses the same story every time. Show some creativity, please. If you're not invested in your own scam, why are you even trying?
4. If the store is closed, you have no right to get angry about that fact. You are not in any way, shape, or form entitled to make purchases from a privately owned business. There is no intrinsic human right that states "I have money, so they must sell their property to me." If you show any sort of sadness or frustration at the fact that the store is closed, you are a dick. The appropriate response to any employee telling you, "Sorry, we're closed," is to apologize for walking in to the store and disrupting their closing routine, and then make a hasty exit.
Bonus Piece of Information: It doesn't matter how drunk you are. And no, I don't care if technically, I still have the capability to sell you something (i.e., the oven is still on, the cash register is still online), do not argue with me or try to bargain your way into me selling you something. For example, you asking, "Well, if the oven is off, could you just scoop me some ice cream?" is not going to impress me. If I wasn't going to make you a sandwich, I sure as hell am not going to get you an ice cream cone just because it's a different product. Closed means closed, dammit.
Related Story: Tonight, we had been closed for half an hour. This guy comes up to the doors, and when he finds that they're locked, he starts to actually knock on them. My co-worker Tara went up to him and he said loud enough for her to hear through the glass door, "Do you have ice cream?" Well, it doesn't matter whether we do or not, jackass, the doors are locked, so that should tell you you're not getting any. Tara responds, "Sorry, we're closed!" His response? To mime licking an ice cream cone and shouting "ICE CREAM!?" like she's stupid and didn't understand him the first time. I could feel Tara's glare from across the room before she jerked her finger towards the hours of operation sign. Finally, he got the picture and walked off.
5. Watch your fucking kids. The store is not a playground, and I will not be held responsible for my actions if they mess up the floors I just swept or get hurt while running around and touching things they shouldn't.
Bonus Piece of Information: If you have too many children to be managed in a crowded public space, keep them out of crowded public spaces.
Related Story: I nearly KILLED this little kid who started dinging the service bell over and over and OVER when I was right there and already taking their order. Of course his parents did nothing to stop him. And when I asked politely if he would stop ringing the bell, they had the gall to look offended that I should be telling their kid what to do.
6. If the place you are going is not a sit-down restaurant, clean up after yourself. If you move the tables around, put them back where you found them. If you were rifling through piles of shirts, fold them and put them back as best you can. Any sort of retail you took off the shelf to look at, put it back where you found it.
Bonus Piece of Information: Technically, it is the job of the employees to clean tables/fold clothes/organize retail. This does not, however, mean I am your personal maid. Pick up your shit.
Related Story: A group of people who were in town for a conference decided they wanted to eat at Potbelly's for several lunches during their stay. Because they said they would be coming back, the general manager gave them all free cans of soda and free cookies and comped some of their sandwiches because they couldn't afford everything. When they finished eating, we went upstairs to discover they had pulled together all of the tables without putting them back, left their trash all over everything, including half-drunk cans of coke, and left about 12 coke cans just sitting around that were un-opened. So we had to gather up all the coke cans and put them back in the cooler, bus the tables and re-organize them. Way to show gratitude for all the free stuff they just got. Assholes.
7. Unless the service was absolutely atrocious, tip at LEAST 10 percent. If the service was really bad, you need to explain why the person is not getting their tip.
Bonus Piece of Information: Even if you don't see a tip jar, if you really liked the service, offer to give one anyway. If people went out of their way to help you out (for example, one time I ran across the street to Starbucks to buy people coffee because we don't have any) ask what you can do to show your appreciation. If you just accept stellar service like it is your due, it makes you less likely to get stellar service in the future. Additionally, if you can't afford to tip, don't buy the stuff in the first place. The tip isn't "required" by any technical rule, but it is required if you're not a total dick.
Related Story: My co-worker Ryan delivers the lunch orders. One time, he got a huge catering order that came to $450. He made and dressed all the sandwiches himself, loaded all the side-salads and chips into his car, got to the place five minutes early, and unloaded all the crap for them. The woman hands him the tip, rolled up like it was a fat wad of bills, and told him to have a nice weekend. How much was the tip? Three dollars for a $450 order. Ryan decidedly did not have a nice weekend.
Any more points to add? I feel like there are a lot more, I just can't think of them right now. Let me know if I missed any.
- I'mma feelin':
angry
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Comments
I think another rule should be that they should not assume that they are more intelligent than you just because you are serving them. I had so many people, when I worked at Circuit City, treat me like I had Down's Syndrome. Just because my fucking register froze doesn't mean I'm incapable...it means the fucking register froze. You get behind this counter and do the shit I do while I yell at you and see how much you like it.
Also, as far as the closing times thing, there were ALWAYS different groups of Indian men that would come in when I worked the close shift, hang out for about a half an hour after close and ask to buy computers and shit, get all the stuff out for them on the counter, and then one of their dumbass friends would convince them to NOT buy the computer/printer/camera/all of those things. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU COME IN, TELL US YOU WANT THIS COMPUTER, HAVE US BASICALLY RING IT UP, AND THEN SAY NO?!
Also, if you're at a place and the staff is starting closing procedure, and you're still there, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. Buy your shit or finish your shit and get the hell out.
If I think of more, I'll let you know.
But I definitely agree that everyone should be required to work a service job.
And YES YES YES- if you see someone start to sweep floors, you should be getting gone immediately. I can't tell you how many people will just SIT there when I start to sweep the upstairs, mop everywhere around them but their spot, and act completely oblivious about it, or at times, even glare at me like I should wait for them. Sorry, fuckwad, if my desire to go home and go to bed is interrupting your free time. Jesus.
I would kill every one of those Indian men. What the fuck.
Additionally, I am probably smarter than half the people who condescend to me at Potbelly. I mean, obviously, since I'm making sandwiches it's not like I could be anything other than an idiot, right? Regardless of the whole, "I graduated from the University of Michigan," thing, even people who CHOOSE to do service as their actual job instead of a transitional one are not necessarily morons. They're a bit masochistic, maybe, but not morons. Why do people assume if you're a service person, you're an idiot? I just don't get it.
You work at Potbelly, and you say giving a tip for good service is required if one is not a dick. I don't get that. I go through the line, get my sandwich, hand over my credit card, get my sandwich, and get the hell out of the way (and assume the service will always be stellar, as otherwise I can go to any one of the the Potbelly-clones within a block who won't make me feel like I'm a burden just for ordering a sandwich). I don't understand why or how I would give a tip unless you mean I should specially go digging through my pockets for change in addition to the charge I just got on my credit card, when there are 20 hungry people behind me (which is almost always the case in DC).
Even when given a credit card receipt to sign which has a spot for a tip, I am not expected to do so here. I know this because I have embarrassed myself multiple times by confusedly writing in a tip amount (confusedly because I don't think they're supposed to have a tip but there's a line there so what the hell am I supposed to do and there is a line behind me aagghh), and have WITHOUT FAIL been stopped by the cashier or person who made my food and told to cross out any tip I have written in, because I'm not supposed to and they don't even know why the line's there themselves. They are also usually laughing at me for trying to tip them. So maybe it's just that y'all Midwestern types are spoiled. But no one here expects a tip unless they actually "run across the street to get Starbucks" - and for that sort of thing, there's always a tip jar.
That said, yes, people generally are awful to service industry people. Ordering food in DC is stressful not only because one feels rushed but also because one knows most people are going to talk to the workers like crap or treat them like robots, which personally makes me feel real pressure to be extra-nice in the 10-second window of time I have to interact with that worker in order that I feel comfortable enough to come back to that place and know I won't get my food spit in, but also because, well, THEY'RE PEOPLE - with degrees, and families, and hobbies, etc. I always assumed it sucked to be a service worker and so was always nice to them, but especially after having to work the desk at Dow Gardens part of the time last summer I realized all the shit people had to put up with, and how irrationally mean people could be. I mean, I would just be like, "LOOK AT MY FACE! I AM BEING NICE TO YOU! I AM INTELLIGENT! LOOK AT ME!"... But they usually wouldn't look. No eye contact. Maybe that should be another one of your points. Even if the line is 20 people long, make eye contact with the worker and acknowledge their humanness. That always meant alot to me.
If it was just a normal sandwich line and you got great service but there's no tip jar, I wouldn't expect you to give a tip. HOWEVER, in addition to expected-tip situations (like deliveries and sit-down restaurants) if someone goes WAY beyond what you were expected (say, takes money out of the register as per the manager's orders and runs across the street to buy you coffee) then you should probably at least offer to tip- the people in the story where I went and got Starbucks for them did tip, and their tip covered the amount of money we took out of the register to get coffee.
On the flip side...I would really like to see managers actually 'teaching' their employees (especially the ones straight out of high school) what constitutes good service. The kids often are stuck in a public service area with no training in how to deal with people, what to do if things go wrong, etc. Increasingly here in Canada I see so much poor public service. I think it's a vicious circle...they aren't treated well so they don't treat us well...and it goes on and those of us with manners get to feel bad.
I did work in a store long ago and I've worked in a busy Public Library and now a college library for 24 years...so yes, I've had my share of problems too (no, they're not always the mythologicaly serene places most people think they are...just try telling someone they have a $10 fine on a book they left under their bed for the last 6 months...or the, "I only have about half hour to go before I'm done my essay" and being very irate when I wouldn't stay late for him to finish! Or having a meltdown when someone else checked out the book they really, really need right now!...sheesh) At least got good grounding from my supervisors right at the beginning.
I can't even imagine how whiney stupid kids must get in the library. Punch them in the face. Haha.
I have the biggest problem tipping, my dad was a bartender most of my life, so I know it is essential, but I'm also really fucking poor and I feel like it would make more sense for them to make a reasonable amount of money to begin with. There were a few times when I really shouldn't have been eating out, but desperately needed to be away from my dorm and among people, that I ended up writing notes apologizing for my lack of tip and thanking them profusely.
Now I live in England and it isn't actually a whole lot less stressful, because I'm not used to a system where you actually tip based on service and not horrible amounts of guilt. I'm getting used to it though and it is far more reasonable.
Anyway, here, here! to this list and fuck that guy that made me cry when I worked in a fabric store.